I've been wanting to start over on a new writing space for a long while now, because honestly, 3 kids later although I still love my heels, they don't come out as often any more... but that's another story for another day. A new writing space just hasn't made it to the priority list. I've been kicking it old school recently and writing a lot on paper but I really felt the desire today to share some thoughts reflecting on the sad fire at the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
A few years ago I learned more about St. Francis of Assisi than the trite common knowledge of his love of animals and nature and since I've really admired him, and been annoyed by his simplification. But I have been even more drawn to him since the release of PA Grand Jury report on priest sexual abuse. The call to rebuild our beloved church seems so fresh and raw. You see, St. Francis wasn't this just meek and mild peaceful nature lover who sat around talking to birds. He was out to create radical change in the church and the way Catholics lived, a return to true devotion to God and self sacrifice. This, after a lavish playboy style youth. After experiencing a vision he heard God calling him to "repair" His church. At first, Francis thought God meant literally repairing the crumbing church structure. After some time, by what some would consider extreme measures, working on this, which was needed as well, Francis realized that God was actually calling him to spiritually rebuild his church. St. Francis of Assisi was a truly passionate man who if you met today you would probably think was not normal but through him some radical changes were made.
After reading about Notre Dame I couldn't help but think of Francis the call the rebuild the church. Apparently Notre Dame was in bad disrepair in many aspects. There were already efforts underway to try to restore the structure at exponential costs. The process of repairing the church was in process. As I sat staring at the flames appearing to gut the structure I couldn't help but think of God telling us, it's not enough to repair my structure you need to rebuild and restore spiritually. Then I heard, albeit brief, accounts in the news of the songs and prayers being prayed around the church. My heart sang when I finally caught a glimpse of these faithful servants of God, not crying in despair, but on their knees praying and singing to God outside the church as they watched the flames spread and appear to engulf the structure. The tragedy brought people out on the streets, praying on their knees for all to see as a beautiful witness of the roots of our faith. This tragedy of destruction of one of our most treasured churches was already demonstrating and rebuilding and restoring and repairing our church in one of the most basic and beautiful and important ways. God never ceases to amaze me in his way to bring beauty of ashes. Literally and figuratively.
Later as I was thinking about how this happened at the start of Holy Week and simultaneously feeling like a failure in carrying out Lent in our home, or lack thereof, I thought of this tragedy. And the reminder that every day, every season, we are called to rebuild. When beloved churches go up in flames, when we fail at our spiritual goals, or any goals, we are called to lean on God and repair, rebuild and start anew. I might not have carried out Lent how I intended but it is the start of Holy Week and I can start rebuilding again right now. God provides us an opportunity to restart and rebuild every day in little ways in our homes and communities. Now, for me, by simply rededicating myself and my family, my efforts, this week to enter more fully and deeply into Lent and restore and rebuild.
For those of you reading this not in my or any little Catholic bubble, please know that there so very many of us dedicated to rebuilding our church, and not just our structures. We are trying in big ways by being more active and vocal in our parishes and beyond, and we are trying in small ways (which in the end I don't think are so small) every day in our homes with our families and our interactions with everyone we meet. Don't expect perfection from us because we are after all sinners. But know we are working hard on rebuilding our church.
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